My Focus This Quarter

This post is a public declaration of a goal I privately set for myself at the beginning of this quarter. During my quarterly reflection and planning, I wrote in my code of action:

Your primary goal this quarter is significant progress in mechinterp research. You originally intended to take a leave of absence to put your 100% into mechinterp research. You stayed because you knew you could achieve the same results while still in school. Have delusional self-belief.

There are a slew of other lifestyle modifications I’ve been experimenting with, many of which have been surprisingly positive (like sleeping and waking up early! and exercising every day!) and simultaneously time-consuming to adjust to. I also had a more hectic than usual shopping period at the start of the quarter, and I spent a good amount of the second week of the quarter applying to SPAR and MATS. Nevertheless, for something that is “my primary goal” this quarter, I have worked embarrassingly little on mechinterp research—besides a couple meetings with my advisor, reading some papers, and setting up my workspace on the cluster, I’ve done absolutely nothing.

I have determined my classes. I submitted my applications. I know what it is I have set out to do. It is now time to execute.

I delusionally assert this in public so that the possibility of my failure may relentless spur me to action, and the actualization of my failure may bring me great humiliation, even as every sinew of my soul staggers in skeptical disbelief.

By this quarter’s end, I will have a full-length conference-submittable manuscript detailing the application of attribution techniques to the science of model personas.